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Hi.

I’ve written some words about my attempt to visit the worlds’s 195 countries, and by extension, myself. This probably makes me a narcissist.

Chile - A Breathtaking Slither Of Wonder

Chile - A Breathtaking Slither Of Wonder

Country #87/195. Chile is of the most beautiful and geographically diverse places on the planet. For good reason: it's really long. It stretches around 4000km. It's also potentially the most developed country in Latin America. It manages to feel quite European in some areas, a bit like Argentina, but being English here appears to be slightly less of a negative. In terms of natural beauty, it takes the top spot in Latin America in my view. And would by vying with Namibia to be the most naturally beautiful country on this planet, with stunning and secluded landscapes that have to be seen to be believed. Visit it.

I have no doubt this will be an album cover one day.

I have no doubt this will be an album cover one day.

Iquique. Dunes and great surf (I can’t surf).

Iquique. Dunes and great surf (I can’t surf).

The North of Chile, belying its name, is not very cold at all. In fact it's the driest place in the world. Instead of people and cities, you have sand. And instead of trees and lakes, you have more sand. 

The one exception is Iquique, a coastal town set against the backdrop of 100m sand dunes (pictured below). Iquique is described as a ‘surfers paradise’, by Lonely Planet. It gave me constant reminders of my ability on a surfboard: none. And no matter what anyone tells you, neither the body or the inexplicably named ‘boogie’ versions of the sport are viable alternatives. They are the equivalent of turning up at a skate park on a scooter, which as I think we'd all agree, should be universally punishable with sharp blow to the back of a head. With a skateboard.

Lunar Landscapes And The Milky Way

I spent four days in ‘San Pedro de Atacama’. With my Spanish improving by the second, I deduced this to mean: "San Pedro in the Atacama". I was on course to be fluent by Christmas. The Atacama Desert has stunning, lunar landscapes that can best be described… by looking at the photos attached to this email. A combination of the altitude, colourful rock formations, volcanoes, flamingos, and strangely coloured lakes, made me feel like I was in a sci-fi movie.

If you turn this picture upside down, it almost looks the same. And I also made you look stupid if you turned your screen upside down in a public place to test this theory.

If you turn this picture upside down, it almost looks the same. And I also made you look stupid if you turned your screen upside down in a public place to test this theory.

On the topic of space, stargazing in San Pedro is a treat. Without rain and at high altitudes, San Pedro has some of the best night skies on the planet. The world's largest telescope (made up of 60 satellites) recently opened. It aims to seek new galaxies and extra terrestrial life. During the stargazing, I could not for the life of me get the voice of likeable TV Professor Brian Cox out of my head, telling us about "the wonders of this universe" in an accent which is so nasal at times he may as well be talking out of his nostrils.

The stargazing was as beautiful as it was terrifying. The skies were littered with stars (somewhat predictably). You could see the milky way and shooting stars. Most unsettlingly, you could notice the earth slowly rotating against its starry backdrop. It was helpful for perspective. We are on a tiny planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on earth (Roughly 100,000,000,000,000,000,000). From this perspective, i’ll try to be less upset when the tube is two minutes late, it rains, or some strangers on the TV kick a ball in a net against my ‘team’.

Actual Volcanoes in San Pedro. Not rubbish ‘dormant’ ones.

Actual Volcanoes in San Pedro. Not rubbish ‘dormant’ ones.

Heading South, Gradually

My next stop was Valparaiso. It is a small, graffiti, covered city built up into a hillside that rolls directly into the sea. It’s renowned for street art, an alternative attitude to life, and an ‘anything goes’ attitude. Having spent several years living in trendy Bristol, I knew I’d fit it here. Probably best not to mention that this was to attend the University of Bristol and we lived in the leafy suburbs. I did go clubbing in the edgy parts of Bristol, but we always got a taxi. Highlights in Valparaiso were a street art tour, which I ‘got’ a bit more than the rest of the tour group, and a visit to the stunning house of Chilean artist Pablo Neruda.

Really far from home. And most other places in the world.

Really far from home. And most other places in the world.

…Heading Even Further South Somehow

I then headed further South with my mum. Punta de Arenas is the most Southern city in the world. There was added significance to this trip, due to my South American heritage (hence my impeccable Spanish). My Mum’s father grew up here. He moved to Uruguay when he was in his early twenties, where my mother was born. Given that my South American relatives were all of British descent, sadly, my name is very Anglo Saxon (read: boring). That said, I did find out where my middle name – Mackay – came from. It’s neither a given name nor a good name. So go and have a good laugh at it.

Great photo. Great man?

Great photo. Great man?

Also know that Mackay is the maiden name of my great-great-grandmother, whose tombstone we found in a windswept cemetery in Punta de Arenas, reducing my mother to tears. Not so funny now eh? It was very strange to think I had relatives growing up here, in this windswept and remote outpost at the end of the earth. It’s hard to comprehend what living here would be like given the connected world we now live in. This was especially true knowing my granddad got packed off to boarding school in Buenos Aires for 9 months of a year. From the grand old age of eight.

Patagonia. A beautiful part of Chile, not just a clothing brand for insufferable, coffee loving, vegetarian, millennials in London, like me.

Patagonia. A beautiful part of Chile, not just a clothing brand for insufferable, coffee loving, vegetarian, millennials in London, like me.

Beautiful? Yes. A Paine In The Arse To Climb? Yes

Mum and I set off for Torres del Paine after a couple of days. It’s a national park whose beauty defies words. It is perhaps the most beautiful place on earth. 3000m mountains jut vertically and impossibly into the sky. To put this in a perspective probably only I can understand (I like tall buildings and go on Skyscraper forums in my spare time…this unfortunately isn’t a joke), that’s the equivalent of ten London Shard’s stacked on top of each other (see photo below). When you look up at the giant granite towers the scale of them is truly hard to comprehend.

Mum and I at Torres del Paine.

Mum and I at Torres del Paine.

You can also take a boat trip around the park’s luminous aqua-coloured icebergs. This may seem pleasant enough, but the 50-person boat we were on would sink if it hit even a small one according to the Captain. I knew about the boat’s vulnerability to icebergs, only because the Captain told us personally. Only after allowing my mum to drive the boat for a bit.

Ice

Ice

In retrospect, telling us afterwards was probably a good decision (a marginally better one than the decision to let a complete stranger, who has zero nautical experience, and who can just about see over the steering wheel, drive the boat). What’s also good about the park is that there are lots of Llamas. I think we can all agree, they look stupid, probably are stupid, perhaps only marginally less so than Camels. Easy prey for Pumas (the animal, not a carnivorous shoe).

Vanuatu - Stupendous Volcanic Paradise. Stupidly Dangerous Also

Vanuatu - Stupendous Volcanic Paradise. Stupidly Dangerous Also

Suriname & The Guianas - A Hidden Delight

Suriname & The Guianas - A Hidden Delight